Welcome to my blog! I hope to make your visit worthwhile and reward you with some new inspirations, sewing and recycling, crafts tutorials and recipes. Please add yourself as a follower, so that you will automatically be updated when I post something new! Please comment, I appreciate sharing mutual interests, like sewing, crafting, cooking and of course eating well! I am a former Family and Consumer Sciences Teacher, I sub in 3 school systems and moonlight at a retail ladies clothing store. which sometimes allows me to indulge my creative energies. A wife, a mom through adoption, Christian, boomer and a member of the sandwich generation I hope to share my unique perspectives and help you with some of yours!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

My quest for Motherhood

At the Lutheran Children's Agency, both of our moms are beaming at our new son!

My last post I wrote a tribute about my own mother, whom I credit with teaching me what it meant to be a mother.  Fiercely protective, and proud of her 3 kids, I know I share alot of the same feelings towards my adopted 2.  10 years apart, they get to experience parents at different times in their lives.

Ted and I in college
I was 16 when I met my future hubby, Ted.  He is one of 6 boys in a typical big Irish family.  Our first "date" after we had met at the beach below my parent's house on Lake Erie, consisted of a painting party.  (That first meeting, I knew I had met someone I could spend my life with. I told my mom so, I know she might have been skeptical.)

A group of his friends planned to paint the exterior or a home for a teenage friend's family who died suddenly from a heart condition.  The family was going through hard times, and the home suffered from neglect.  My hubby, Ted, along with his friends from St. Ed's, gathered a group and I was invited to help.  I met alot of the other guys girl friends, and joyfully we spent a day or two hanging on ladders, I remember I clung to a window over a porch, that I painted.  None of us were painters, but felt a sense of purpose as we tried to show love to the family of this fallen friend.  5 years later, we married, right after we both were finished with college, and weeks before we both left the country to join the Peace Corps in El Salvador. (Our time there was cut short by a civil war.) I knew that when we returned we would start our own family.  I had no idea, what a struggle that would become.  After I taught for a few years, we continued to pursue our dream of having kids.  A bad pap test, early in my quest, detected Stage 3 Cervical Dysplasia.  Fancy way of saying I had pre-cancer of the cervix.  One of my first surgeries had a large proportion of my cervix removed.  Of course it was mentioned that I might not conceive as a result, or be able to carry a pregnancy, but at least I was considered cancer free afterwards and able to resume trying to get pregnant.  Tests and 3 laproscopies revealed a number of other factors, that would make this difficult.  In particular was a bad case of endometriosis, a problem that caused me significant pain and anemia, over the course of my 20's. and 30's. I endured the roller coaster brought on by Clomid and 8 cycles of Pergonal injections, but without the IVF, (insurance wouldn't cover it for us, so the drugs were simply increasing our chances.) As the years went along, we also pursued adoption.  We wrote a biography to give to anyone who might know someone, who could help us find a child.  We looked into foreign and private agencies.  Cost was prohibitive for us, so we hoped for a private adoption.  We knew it would be difficult, but a miracle arrived in a phone call, from a co-worker at my husbands' company.  She knew of someone ready to place her child for adoption, and forwarded our letter and resume.  We were ecstatic when she chose us to parent her child.  Just 2 weeks later, our son was born, but in our county, notice has to be posted for the dad to come forward, to terminate rights.  So we knew it could be weeks before this requirement was satisfied. 

We were friends with another couple, who had recently adopted.  Attending their son's birthday party, we were drawn to a couple with 3 kids, one was an infant boy with piercing blue eyes. I asked to hold him.  They told me they are foster parents for Lutheran Children's, the same place we were working with for our home study.  I asked when the boy's birthday was.  They told me July 30th, and I almost dropped him.  I then relayed that we were waiting for a baby, and this was the same birthday.  Of course, it was our son, but we weren't able to see him, technically because permanent surrender from both parents hadn't occured yet!  We were so excited to have this sneak peek, that we called both sets of parents over to meet him.  We were already calling him Kevin, even though his name was Zultan, because each of the foster kids were given a letter of the alphabet name, he was assigned the letter Z. 

Wow, what excitement for us.  He was real, not just a promise, and my friends lived on W 226th.  So we called it the "Miracle on 226th Street".  It was only a few more weeks when we finally got to bring him home.  His birth mother never wavered, and the father never came forward.  8 months later we finalized and have had the joys and challenges ever since. Ironically, I did get pregnant one time, when he was 7 months old.  I was told I would probably have had to go to bed rest.  I made it to 8 weeks, so I felt some confirmation that I was destined to be a mother through adoption. Miscarriage was next, and I found it hard to be on a maternity ward, after so many years of infertility, but I was grateful that I had the chance to experience the joy of pregnancy even if it was only for a short while. (I know I will meet this little soul, in heaven one day.)  My Kevin will turn 24 this summer.  God has been good to us, even though we had no way of knowing our trip was just beginning.  My daughter's story follows this one, 10 years later.  Hers was an unusual one too, maybe next post!
My journey was begun, but I have another story to tell about my second child, Kate.  To be continued!

Recycle, Repurpose, Redo and Renew - I will demo how I practice the 4RS.

Here is a batch of items I got at Goodwill yesterday.  I will post what I am doing with some of these on my next blog post.  Can you guess what I will do with the green sweater...?

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